It currently appears that our lives are surrounded by people suffering, and it's hard not to ask God why all the time. I have this gift or burden (as it feels like some days) where I can truly feel the suffering of those around me and I grieve for/with them. I believe it's my calling to obsessively pray for these people, and usually I'm good about not letting it personally affect me (too much).
For some reason though (I'm sure it's a part of God's plan), Uganda changed this for me. Suffering became real on a much greater level. So much so, that I've struggled to talk about it since we've been home (which was 5 months ago). Poverty, abandonment, death, HIV, and trafficking have become so real to us that they have faces and names. While I've attempted to go back to the most normal American life possible, it's just not going to happen. Each of these little lives and beautiful faces have personally affected our family.
I've been doing a lot of reading, praying, and soul searching lately as I desperately try to wade through this fog. I say desperate because it's affecting every area of my life. I can't seem to have normal social interactions, I lack patience with my family, and I'm mentally stuck in Uganda. I came across this quote by the author Jennie Allen that hit me over the head this week. "We can do one of two things with suffering: we can absorb it and let it change us, or we can let it crush us." It was terribly convicting because lately I've let this suffering crush and consume me, instead of change and empower me.
So what do you say to those around you suffering? Maybe instead of saying something you should do something! Send a gift, give a hug, deliver a meal, sponsor a child, etc. Actions often speak much louder than words. I know without a doubt in my mind that God placed each of these beautiful little faces in our lives because He wants us to do something about it. What that looks like I do not know, only time will tell. But in the mean time, we continue to pray for those around us suffering and thank God for placing each of them in our lives as bittersweet as it may feel some days.
We each play a part of a much bigger story that we may never fully grasp on this side of heaven. My dear friends, don't ever doubt that the threads of your life don't mean a thing, because even the littlest things we do are being woven into a beautiful masterpiece.
