An Outing With Becca

 Today I'm going to give you a small glimpse into my life.  Specifically what goes on anytime we seem to leave the house on one of our many adventures.  I truly feel like a freak show anytime we leave our neighborhood.  People are constantly staring, and at every place I go some very nice stranger always comes up to me and says "wow, you sure have your hands full."  What's even funnier about this is I hear this phrase when my children are being complete angels.  My kid's ages are 7,6,3, and 1.  But our older 2 kids are small for their age so really it looks like my kids are 5,4,3, and 1.  Which, if this were the case, I'd totally understand people's unfiltered comments.

So come along with me on one of our regular outings.  Here are some of the typical things you will see.

It's common for our older 2 children to fight about something when we are out; they are very competitive with each other.  So usually the fighting starts with whoever is going to get into the car first.  We have many assigned routines in our household to attempt to avoid some of this competition between them.  For example, they do have assigned seats and an assigned order as to who gets in the car first.  Despite our attempts to limit the competition, anywhere we go they manage to make something into a competition.  When we walk through the grocery store they argue about who stands on which side of the cart.  All things that I personally don't feel are important in life, but when you are 6 & 7 this is a life or death situation people.

My very sweet 7 year old daughter has a bit of sass and attitude to her.  Which some days makes me wonder if she's really 16 instead.  This sass is bound to come out at some point usually to me or her 6 year old brother.  Like flipping a light switch she can go from being super sweet to quickly hating you.  This usually includes nasty glares, her arms folded, and a downcast face.  I just continue to smile and go along with whatever we are doing and pray her heart softens quickly.  Because really, only she can flip the switch again (believe me we have tried).

Then there's my 6 year old boy who contains more energy than most people could handle.  He's all boy and could not sit still if his life depended on it.  So when we get together with another group of kids to work on a project, he is all over the place (LITERALLY).  He's mentally present (and very smart) but physically everywhere.  In public places he is constantly walking into people because he is just all over the place and so easily distracted.  So while he's looking up at the ceiling fans, he misses the fact that someone is right there in front of him.  You will also frequently see me yelling at Kade in the parking lot because he is not paying attention and starts to wander in the path of a moving car (yes, it's necessary that I yell for the safety of his life).

As for my youngest boy, he's a typical 3 year old who loves to make a scene in public.  More often than not he has some kind of melt down.  And this isn't just any meltdown my friends.  He screams like I have just beaten him, and his mission is accomplished because he draws a lot of attention to himself.  I'm sure you are wondering what causes these meltdowns.  Well, when I discovered he was playing with a scissors and asked for it because that's just a wise thing for him to play with (especially considering he has attempted to cut his sister's hair), he lost it.  When I told him he needed to keep his shoes on at a restaurant, he lost it.  When there were no car carts left at the grocery store for him to drive, he lost it.  These meltdowns are so common that I mentally prep myself for this each outing.

Our littlest peanut actually likes outings.  It's pretty typical that she moans/whines at some point because she usually wants something.  You will also at some point in our adventures see her shouting at one of her siblings because they are getting way too close (she likes her personal space).

Eating in public is truly another whole can of worms; so much so that many times I avoid it.  Let me caution this with the fact that even if your child is in a very nice orphanage for a short amount of time; food issues arise.  We've been dealing with different food issues for over 2 years now so it's completely normal to us, but when we are out in public people stare and think something is wrong with your child.  The thing is, these problems come and go.  You have good days and bad days.  You never know what the day will hold.  And once you conquer one issue, another arises.  Both our younger 2 kids can shovel food in there mouths so fast that it's just scary to watch (it's like they are starved).  Recently we've had to ban our youngest from even feeding herself the simplest things.  Neither of them always know they are full, they could eat until they puke (and have done this). The down side of this is there are many meltdowns after eating because they want more and think they need more.  But when you eat so fast you don't know you are full yet.  Each meal I talk my 3 year old through the process of slowly biting, chewing, and swallowing like it's some kind of therapy to get him to eat slower.  While my older 2 don't have these kinds of problems, they are known to eat an unusually large amount of food when they are growing.  We recently went to a BBQ and they both ate 4 plates full of food.  I'm pretty sure Luke's boss now thinks we don't feed them.

I'm not telling to this to make you feel bad for us because honestly I wouldn't trade it for anything.  It's just life.  And maybe a reminder that we aren't perfect and don't have it all together.  That's where Jesus comes in my friends, I'm truly reminded of my need for Him every day.  This is just a part of our life and we are used to it.  Outings can definitely be draining and there are days I wonder why I even bothered.  But with each outing there are also little blessing and things that truly make you laugh.  So I try to look for the joy in each day because if I focused on the things I've listed above I just might plead insanity.

I love each of these kids to bits and pieces.  The each bring great joy to our lives and there truly is never a dull moment with their different personalities.

I love how this little guy can channel all that energy into a sport.  Of course he is obsessed with baseball and makes me practice with him daily.  But he loves it and is determined to play Major League Baseball some day.

I love that this girlfriend is wise beyond her years.  She sets me straight on my facts and tells the truth without caution.  Her creativity and desire to give to others is truly inspiring.

And no one can resist this sweet face.  Her many cuddles and smiles melt me each day.  Most outings I have someone tell me that she makes them want another baby.

No one can resist this sweet face either.  He is so funny with his actions and words that often makes us all laugh.  The other day he told me bees had cheese burgers inside them and mustard too.

Worth Millions

When it comes to neighbors here in the US; there seems to be 3 common situations I've observed over time:

1. You live by each other but exchange few words and rarely see each other.

2. You can't stand your neighbors and are ready to move the first chance you get.

3. You love your neighbors dearly, and words cannot express how much they mean to you.

On the compound we lived at in Uganda we had neighbors that truly became our family in a very short amount of time.  We did life together, shared in joys and sorrows, enjoyed meals together, helped when the need arose,etc.  It truly was far from the norm of what's typically seen here in the U.S.

We have a similar situation with our neighbors at home and only one phrase truly describes them, "they are worth millions."  Neighbors are an interesting thing because you don't really choose them, they just happen to be the people you are living by.  When our house was being built we had no clue who would live by us, and truly anytime you move you are taking a risk into the unknown because of this.  Let me tell you though, we have hit the jackpot with our neighbors.  Since we've lived here we have always loved our neighbors, even the ones who come and go.  We truly have been fortunate as I hear some terrible neighbor horror stories even from the other side of our neighborhood.  

This past few weeks we have truly been reminded of how blessed we are to have such great neighbors.  Let me tell you a little bit about our neighbors in our small corner of the world.  They make the best homemade salsa and burritos.  They make the most beautiful cakes and goodies that should be sold out of a bakery.  They shovel your sidewalks and edge your grass.  They love each of your kids and welcome any new additions with great joy.  They help out with your kids when a crisis arises.  They are fun to hang out with and have drinks.  They allow you to use their washing machine when yours isn't working.  They help you open your garage door when you are locked out of the house.  They help you pull up carpet when your basement floods.  You enjoy meals together.  They call to make sure you are okay if you haven't been seen in a while.  They accept you no matter how strange your family might seem.  They share your joy and sorrows.  They stand by you through the good and bad.  THEY-ARE-SIMPLY-AMAZING!

I realize our situation is quite rare.  These people are truly a gift from God.   To my amazing neighbors on this small portion of the planet:  we love you dearly and couldn't imagine life without you!

We've turned our garden into a neighborhood garden.  Here are our young gardeners hard at work this weekend getting everything planted.

Beautiful Mess

I think we all have this image in our heads of things flowing smoothly every day.  Your kids loving each other every second, dishes magically being cleaned, spotless floors, etc.  But none of this is a reality and we are reminded of this as we adjust to life back in the States as a family of 6.

Uganda has changed us for sure.  So really there is no such thing as going back to normal.  Instead we've found a new routine for our life here.  And while I envision it going smoothly everyday it never does and that's okay because that's just life.  Car accidents happen, kids have meltdowns, garage doors break, churches divide, children remain orphans, people say hurtful words, etc.  But in all this mess there is beauty!

We are so thankful for all the beauty in our lives.  Wise people to give advice.  People to advocate for children in need.  Friends who love us no matter how messy our lives can seem.  Family who is ready to help with one call/text.  Neighbors who truly have become part of our family.  Technology that allows us to communicate with loved ones who live far away.  A love so deep for East Africa that you could jump on a plane in a heart beat.

No matter what mess you find yourself in right now, I pray that you find the beauty.  Because life is a beautiful mess which is exactly what God intended it to be.

Surviving

"How are things going?"  This seems to be a very common question many of you have asked, and depending on the day and exact moment you'd get a totally different answer.  At the beginning of this week we were telling people that we felt like everyone was adjusting well.  But as I look back at the week, I can't help but laugh and say really we are just surviving.  Here's some of what this week entailed:

Luke, who has really seemed to adjust the most locked his keys in the truck and dropped his phone in the river all in the same day.  These behaviors are not normal for him and had us both wondering if he was doing okay.

The kids, whom I also thought were doing great had an off week to say the least.  We started school again after taking a couple weeks off, and it has brought tears to all 4 kids every day.  Kristin & Kade's social skills have also been lacking terribly and their interaction with friends this week has not gone well.

As for me, when your husband is forcing you to get away for some alone time over the weekend it's probably a sign that I'm not at the top of my game.  I've continued to keep things simple like our Africa life because to be real honest I can't do details.  Meals are very basic with little prep.  Cleaning has been minimal because really there are more important things in life.  Homeschool has also been limited to only the basics, no extras (pretty sure my kids living in a different culture for 2 months counts as plenty of extra for the rest of the school year).  I've also been the least social in my entire life because too much interaction is just overwhelming.  And I'm sad to admit I've given some terrible glares to people while running errands.  It gets really old going places and people telling you "wow, you have your hands full."  I even had a guy flat out laughing at me...

We really are doing good, these are just some random moments of culture shock which truly are improving.  Although I have to admit, if God told me to jump back on a plane to Africa I wouldn't think twice. =)

For those of you visual people, here are some of the things in our life you'd have seen this week:

Kristin keeping to herself in her room.  She's been needing a lot more alone time than usual.

Kade in desperate need of a nap everyday.

Kyler wearing snow boots in 70 degree weather.  I figure if he can get his shoes on by himself he can wear what he wants.

Kenzi spending quality time in the ergo.  She loves mommy holding her and it's occasionally nice to have both hands free.

And as always some serious cuteness.  I truly have the best job in the world!  Can't resist them!