No More Timelines

I'm definitely laughing at myself today as I hit the last time-line I made in regards to our adoption.  When things finally started moving again last December and into January, I totally thought we'd have our approval by the end of March.  And the really dumb thing is that I actually told people this. =)  You'd think I'd have learned by now that there are absolutely NO time-lines in this process and I should never assume anything.  So, no more time-lines for me.  Those of you dying to know when this adoption will happen, all I can say is that you will have to work this out with God.  So, below you will find my new non-time-line.

When will we get our approval?  Not a clue.

When will we receive our referral?  Sometime after we are approved.

When will we bring our babies home?  Sometime after we receive our referral.

Hope this new time-line helps you.  =)  In the mean time, a very wise women in my life reminded me today that I should really enjoy the 2 beautiful children I already have.  They are only this age once.

Imagination at its Best

My children have great imaginations, although sometimes I struggle to understand what exactly they are doing, so they have to explain.  Take the picture below for example.  When I went downstairs this morning, it looked to me like this penguin was getting ready to be shipped somewhere (I hope they  are using FedEx, or this poor guy may get lost).  Well, I was completely wrong.  This is actually the penguin's bed and he's napping right now.  My daughter proceeded to explain how it's a great bed because it has a built-in wrap around blanket.

In the next picture it appears as though my daughter is playing with a baby dinosaur.  Well, she is pretending that this over-sized plastic T-Rex (which my husband insisted we buy our son for Christmas) is her baby sister.  I personally have a hard time imagining this one since I know her baby sister will look absolutely nothing like this. =)

It was my son's idea to put the diaper on their baby sister.  So I agreed, but little did a realize, that cutting a hole for the dinosaur's tail would make a huge mess (diapers are filled with hundreds of tiny absorbent beads).

Induce Me...Please

In a normal pregnany, once you get past so many weeks, the doctor will no longer allow you to be pregnant.  Instead they will induce you.  Obviously this adoption pregnancy is far from normal, but I'm definitely ready to be induced.  We have spent the last 16 months preparing for 2 more children.  I had a large list of to do's before they arrived home.  Well, I've now officially completed this list today, and everything left I really can't do until we have our referral and are close to traveling.  So any day God, please induce me and lets get this show on the road.

On another side note, I've realized this last week how perfect God's timing really is.  If we had brought home our babies last year like we originally planned, our youngest son would not have been ready yet.  Just recently Kade has really changed a lot and is now ready to be a big brother.  Up until this point he was still my baby and wanted to stay that way.  Now all he can talk about are his baby brother and sister and how excited he is for them to come home.  He has become a very independent little boy, and it saddens me that he's no longer my baby.  God knew this all along and I'm glad that He knows what's best for us!!!

Thought of the Day

"Live in this world, but not of it."

What does this phrase mean to you?

To me it means:
spending more quality time with my children instead of driving them around from one thing to the next

teaching my children about God, the Bible, morals, and values instead of expecting our churches and school to do it

using all of our money to glorify God instead of using it to buy things pleasing to myself

living a debt-free life and not buying things we can't afford just because our culture says we need them when we really want them

helping someone in need even if it means sacrificing my time and money

Photographer Shout Out

I love romance, fairy tale type movies.  Even though they are far from reality, I love the happy feeling you get at the end.  Well, I also love following this photographer's blog: http://www.visphotography.com/blog/.  Each of her shots are so amazing that I feel like I'm there, watching this great romance take place.  The shots are amazing and it totally reminds me of a great romance movie.  Keep in mind, I am a bit biased.  This photographer is a good friend from elementary school who I just recently reconnected with (gotta love facebook).  Just go check out the blog and see for yourself!

Final Hair Experiment

For those of you dying to see the final results, here they are.  I did a full head of curlers with some product and it definitely did the trick.  These curls lasted 3 days.  My daughter's goal this time was to have her hair as curly as one of her friends, which I might add this little girl has a full head of perfectly gorgeous ringlets.  I would never be able to get my daughter's hair this curly.  I hope this doesn't mean that my daughter will be tired of her straight hair and want it permed when she gets older.  I may have created a monster.

love those big, beautiful blue eyes

not sure how she sleeps on these, I think it's very uncomfortable

just after the curlers are taken out

curls after I fluffed them

2 very curly pony tails

What's In A Number?

I don't think I've ever actually shared our dossier number on here for various reasons.  But, for those of you in the adoption world dying to know, we are #42.  When I think of a number like this, it makes me think of the many waits I have had at the DMV.  When you get there, you take a number, when your number comes up (they go in order I might add), then it's your turn.  Well, needless to say, we've learned this is not how dossier numbers work in regards to our adoption.  Typically when people ahead of you hear something, you will be next.  Well, lets just say there are families higher than us who have received approvals/referrals and there are families below us who are still waiting.  So, what does our dossier number mean exactly?  It means that the ministry actually has our dossier, and its been registered in their system.  It also means that our dossier number is more like an ID number.  Instead of being known as the "M" family, we are known as family #42. Or at least this is what I tell myself.

Insane

So, this last week it's become much more apparent to me that even those who are very supportive of our adoption and excited for us think we're a bit insane.  All my hubby and I seem to talk about is adoption, I check my email obsessively, I stalk blogs, we have emotional highs and lows based on movement, etc. (I think you get the point).  Even though these people are very dear to me, they just don't get it.  Needless to say, I have also been blessed with an amazing support group of adoptive families who do get it and thankfully do not think I'm insane.  Now is when I need this support system because I feel like my normal one is crashing down on me.  So, to all you wonderful adoptive families out there, you are such a blessing and thank you for helping me to not feel completely crazy through this whole process.  This journey is tough, but each of you have made it much easier and truly are blessings to me!!!

On another note, there has been more movement in Rwanda this week, which is exciting, but it's hard not to get your hopes up knowing this.  There are also 5 or 6 families traveling today to meet their children which is SO exciting.  Please pray for these families, for safe travel, and for paperwork to be completed smoothly in Rwanda & Ethiopia.

Friday Routine

On a typical Friday morning, my children usually spend some quality time with Grandma, and I get groceries and run random errands (I save all my errands of the week for Friday morning).  Lately schedules have been busy so it hasn't worked out this way.  Instead I have enjoyed having my little helpers with me as a I run errands.  I particularly love this new grocery store that was built down the street from us.  There are carts just the right size for my children so they can help.  And I must say, I really enjoy not having to push a cart.  We also love this store because they give children free cookies.  They also have lots of yummy samples, not the kind you see at a typically grocery store, I'm talking slices of good quality cheese, whole clementines, whole donuts, etc.  And, my children's favorite part, they both get to ride one of those electrical ponies for only a penny.  If you can't tell, I'm totally in love with this store.

Therapy

There are 3 things I like to do that are definitely therapeutic for me.  Each is like a little escape from reality for me, and they all definitely help me to stay sane.

1. Hot Bath - I feel as though I escape to somewhere else, spa like.  I have an amazing husband who knows that when he gets home and I go straight to the bath, it means I've had one of those days and he doesn't even ask.  He just lets me enjoy the moments of silence to myself.

2. Running - This is a definite mental escape for me.  I helps me clear my mind, and for me it's a great time to talk to God.  The adrenaline rush from a good run is also fantastic, and very addictive.

3. Chocolate Extreme Blizzard from Dairy Queen - Each bite is like heaven and definitely makes me feel better.

So I realize that each of these things are very much temporary, but they certainly help me.  All 3 I happened to enjoy today, I guess that says a lot about my state of mind right now!

Sunglasses

My children love wearing sunglasses.  My daughter especially, she'd sleep in hers if possible.  My son's broke a while back, so now he claims that these gigantic red ones (that he got from their dress-up clothes) are his new glasses.  =)  I laugh every time he wears them, which is usually everyday.  They just look so funny. =)

"The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles."  Psalm 35:17

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope."  Psalm 130:5

A Park is Near

Last fall I got involved in something that is 100% for my children but has completely consumed my life for the last month. A neighbor and I set out to get a stack of proxies signed for our HOA meeting, our goal: getting a park in our neighborhood.  Well, we won the vote by a landslide thanks to our large stack of proxies.  But the madness didn't stop there, after this we both really wanted to be on the HOA's park committee as well (to ensure that it got done soon I guess).  It sounded like fun picking out playground equipment, but I obviously wasn't logically thinking about all the work that goes into this.  So, we were chosen by the board to be on this park committee and all I can say is, "WHAT WERE WE THINKING!?!?!?"  I found myself being the chair of the committee, which my OCD does well at handling.  But let me tell you, this last month has been crazy!!!  Needless to say, after all this work, I've told my husband we will never move until our children are too big to enjoy this park.  And as my neighbor says, our kids better be out there playing every day, even if a tornado is headed this way. =)

After many meetings of feeling like we were getting no where, we came up with 2 bids that I presented to the board last week.  The board made a decision and I'm so relieved that we are actually moving forward.  Hoping the equipment is ordered this week. Stay tuned to see a picture of our new park in the next couple months.

Funny side note: after every meeting my see 3 year old son always asks me, "mommy did you buy me a park yet?"  So glad my children understand that my busyness is for their benefit.

Enjoying the Weather

We have been loving the warmer weather and soaking up every bit of sun possible.  Especially since there's a VERY good chance we will get cold weather again along with large amounts of snow.  It can be 70 here one day and a blizzard the next.  For those of you who live here, I'm not trying to predict our spring weather.  But it just seems like every year we get some nice warm days, then a large snow storm and frigged weather follow.  Here are some pictures of our random adventures last week, I'm sure we'll go on many more this week since the weather is supposed to be just as nice.  I love being able to spend this time with my children.  I definitely have the best job in the world!!!

 Picnic at the park:

Enjoying popsicles (which they have been begging me to eat all winter long):

Fun at another park:

Signs of Spring

My tulips and daffodils are starting to come up.  So excited to see their beauty soon!

My least favorite part of warmer weather!!!  I especially hate these one because they jump right as you're about to catch them.

In Love

This waiting business is hard, but God has taught us so much and continues to teach us through this process.  I have learned to be a much more patient person in MANY areas of my life.  I've learned to rely and trust Him more.  I've also fallen in love with a country I've never even been to.  I continue to learn more and more about Rwanda as we wait.  I guess I have nothing better to do than read, and read, and read some more.  It just seems that the more I learn, the deeper I fall in love for this country, its people, and ministries.  If I could jump on a plane right now and go anywhere in the world, it would be to Rwanda.  Not because I want to bring my babies home either.  Don't get me wrong, I long to bring our children home more than anything, but I also long to be in this country and be a ministry.

Great Videos - ENJOY =)

Who to Trust?

I find that I really struggle to trust people that I don't know very well.  I'm not sure if this is just me and I have serious problems, or if it has to do with the world be live in?  Maybe it's a little of both.  Let me give you a couple examples.

Yesterday I took my kids to the library.  As I'm loading them into the car a gentleman in his late 50s, starts asking me questions about my car and tells me how nice it is.  He seemed very chatty, I didn't mind talking, I like to talk.  But as he continued to talk, this is what went through my mind:  Why would someone be telling my how nice my mini-van was, this is not a typical car that people admire.  There seems to be no one else in this parking lot.  Why does he keep staring at my children?  Maybe he's the missing murderer who kidnapped and murdered that young girl over a year ago (whom they're still looking for).  Panic obviously set in, so when he took a break from talking I very casually buckled my children and drove off.  He did smile and wave as I drove off, so I did the same back.  Pretty sure he was just a nice man who needed someone to talk to, but I wasn't going to risk it.

Here's another example, about a month ago I was getting groceries by myself.  When I was loading my bags into the car, one of the guys who works at the grocery store (I'm assuming he was out there getting ready to put some carts back inside), goes to my driver's side door and begins to open it.  Well I totally panicked and was completely speechless, because all I did was stare at him.  I thought he was going to try to steal my car until I realized I still had the keys in my hand.  So, he stands there holding the door open and smiling at me, at this point I'm pretty sure he noticed my eyes popping out of my head in complete shock.  Because then he says something about how there aren't very many polite people left in this world.  Then I breathed a sigh of relief, sat in my driver's seat, he gently shut the door and said "have a nice day."  After getting over the complete shock, I was moved by his gesture of kindness, and AMAZING customer service.

No News

This week has had an erie and depressing silence.  It our small Rwanda adoption world, which seems big to me, but small to the rest of the world, there was absolutely no movement.  I'm okay with the fact that we personally didn't hear anything this week, but when nobody hears anything, it just gives you a sick to your stomach kind of feeling.

On the brighter side, their are 2 families there right now bringing home their absolutely beautiful babies.  I've enjoyed following their journeys.  And, next weekend many more families will be there from our agency bringing home their children as well.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Since my husband is Irish, we like to make the most of this holiday.  Not to mention, St. Patrick was a good man who turned to God while enslaved, followed God's leading in life, and was especially known for his ministry of sharing God.  So this morning was filled with fun, St. Partrick's Day activities.

I just LOVE this shirt!

We made heart shaped potato stamps, then used them to make clovers.  This is what the final product was supposed to look like.

The Final Product

We also made rainbow cupcakes.

Lets just say they don't look as pretty as the picture I found online, but they taste great!

Thanks to a great idea from a friend we also had green milk with lunch.  The kids thought this was cool.  And for my husband, we will have a traditional corned beef & cabbage dinner.

Hair Experiment #2

My mom suggested that I try putting curlers in pony tails.  So I tried it and used smaller rollers.  The smaller rollers made great curls, but this little girls fine hair didn't hold the curl very long.  After only a few hours it went flat. =(  Her hair also didn't stay in the pony tails very well over night.   I'm thinking a full head of smaller curlers and some product may do the trick next time. Stay tuned..

Everyday Life

Now what kind of parent would I be if I only took pictures when my children were smiling and looking cleaned up.  Definitely not a realistic one.  Here's a bit of our everyday life, enjoy. =)

Silence

Looking forward to 2 days of not expecting, waiting, checking my emails regularly, stalking blogs, etc.  I need the silence of this weekend to refocus, regroup, pray, etc.  Things have continued to move in Rwanda which is such a blessing, a couple families are actually there right now bringing home their babies which is even more exciting.  Praying that this month is filled with wonderful news for many expecting families. 

Shout Out To My Grandparents

My husband and I have been blessed with amazing grandparents.  We love each of them so much, learn a lot from them (they are much wiser than we are), and enjoy every opportunity we get to see them and spend time with them.  When my kids were small my one set of my grandparents gave them these over sized Care Bears.  At the time I thought these bears seemed huge, but my kids LOVED them!

I tried to find a picture of my kids when they were younger holding these bears, but didn't have much luck.  I'm pretty sure our daughter was about 2 and our son was 1.  At the time, these bears were bigger than my children.

A couple years later, my kids still love these same Care Bears.  They especially love putting their clothes on them.  Looking at these next pictures I'd say that either these bears shrunk or my children have grown a lot!

Thanks for my wonderful grandparents for providing these great bears that still bring my children much joy!

Worship Like None Other

A couple weeks ago I had the most amazing worship experience ever!  Singing, dancing, and worshiping with over 5,000 people is...well...words honestly can't even describe it.  I'm still processing the awe of it all...wow.  If I'm just in awe of this, think about how great heaven will be!!!  Of course there were 7 amazing bands to lead this massive worship celebration all in the name of Jesus.

On another note, each band was awesome, but there are 2 that I'd like to point out.

Thousand Foot Krutch (TFK):  This band was awesome, and put on a great show!  Rock is my FAVORITE genre, so they stood out the most to me.  If you love rock, I would totally recommend checking them out.

Lecrae: I'm not typically one who listens to rap.  It's kinda like country music to me, some days I like it and some days it really gets on my nerves.  That being said, surprisingly, I loved Lecrae!  He is now my new 1st favorite rap artist.  If you like rap, check him out (he also puts on a show that is TONS of fun).

ITCHY

After arriving home from a meeting tonight I discovered I was covered in hives.  I'm definitely a bit itchy, but I'll take it as a good excuse to drug myself to sleep tonight with a little Benadryl.  When I'm extremely stressed this is one way my body reacts.  This reaction could be from one of 2 things, or both:

1.  Our HOA is in the process of building a park and I'm the chair on this committee.  I actually just got home from this meeting and am on a mission to find thousands of dollars to make this park happen.  Trying to make it all work out on a very limited budget is definitely stressful. 

2.  The adoption is definitely stressful, especially when families much higher than you hear about their papers being processed, and we know nothing.

sesamestreet.org

This picture would make a GREAT advertisement.  We love SesameStreet.org.  My kids love it because they get to play games on the computer.  I love it because it's free, educational, and meets multiple age ranges.

Hair Experiment

As a child we had a Saturday Night routine that I dreaded.  Many a Saturday nights my mom would put sponge curlers in our hair so that our hair was curly for church the next morning.  Sleeping on these was extremely uncomfortable.  Well, I thought I'd put my daughter through the same torture.  =)  Actually, my daughter saw the curlers in my cupboard and requested them.  So we experimented.

I used the larger ones since I wasn't sure how curly it would make her hair

This was my daugher's desired outcome, to have curly hair like her brother

The Final Product

It didn't turn out as curly as we thought, but still very cute.  Kristin loved it and wanted curlers in her hair again the next night.  Next time we'll try smaller curlers.

Make Believe

My children constantly live in a world of make believe, they also love wearing costumes.  Every day they pretend to be someone or something.  Lately they've been pretending to be knights and dragons.  It's fun to sneak up on them and listen to what they are saying.

I've realized that I too have been living in a world of make believe when it comes to our adoption.  Some may call it denial, but I prefer "make believe."  We are now in our 16th month of this journey and I feel like I know so much yet nothing all at the same time.  In my "make believe" world, all the families below us already have been approved and their referral's are being processed, even if they haven't officially received their approvals.  And even though people above us have received approvals, my "make believe" world has convinced me that any day now there will be mass approvals, including ours.

You may also notice that the title and look of this blog has changed a bit.  It's no longer "Our Journey to Africa," but "Our Life Journey."  This change is also because I believe we will bring our babies home soon, thus starting the next chapter of our lives and continuing whatever journey God leads us on.

So, as you can see, I'm not in denial, I'm just living in a magical world my mind has created that I don't plan to leave any day soon.  Pretty sure if I leave this world of make believe, I'll have a complete breakdown.

Going Out

This weekend my hubby and I went on a date just the 2 of us.  We try to make this a habit, but lately it hasn't happened.  Let me just say we had TONS of fun and we felt like kids again.  The next day we talked about how much fun we had.  At one point I said "I had so much fun going out with you last night."  My husband's response, "Oh?  Now we are going out?  Don't you think we are moving a little too fast?"  Gotta love him! =)

Zoo Experience Like None Other

My kids love the zoo, and thanks to my wonderful husband and the fabulous zoo pass he bought us for Christmas, we will be visiting the zoo quite often.  You never really know what you will see at the zoo, each animal is out more or less and their activity level also seems to vary depending on the weather and time of day.  Let's just say it's always an adventure.  This week at the zoo there were some strange happenings in the gorilla cage.  To keep this from being an R-rated blog, lets just say the male gorilla was pleasuring himself.  Thankfully my children were completely oblivious, so we just moved on like nothing happened.  The kids also got to feed some birds meal worms, this would have been more exciting if the birds were interested.  I did find the Tapir interesting, it can shoot its pee great distances (fairly often too, I might add) and it makes the strangest noises.  I look forward to seeing what other crazy experiences our next trip will bring!

my son is a little annoyed that I'm taking another picture =)

pulling all 3 was quite a work-out

she sat on this bear and told me I needed to take picture

Tennis Lesson #1

This week I had my first tennis lesson.  What made me want to learn how to play... well I'm not quite sure.  I never really seem to have a method for my madness.  But if I did have a reason it might sound something like this: it's free, we have lots of courts here in town, I could teach my kids to play when they get older,  it would make a great outing with my husband, etc.

Meet  "G," my brave and fearless coach (a.k.a. my little sister):

Isn't she cute?  My sister did a great job and was VERY patient with me.  There was a lot more running around than actual playing.

Meet my pit crew (a.k.a. ball chasers):

My kids thought this was so much fun.  Who knew that they'd enjoy an hour of chasing and picking up tennis balls.  What a great way to wear them out! =)

 

Doubting Faith of An Israelite

God completely hit me over the head yesterday and made me realize that I wasn't trusting Him completely with His plans for our adoption.  A friend shared with me Numbers 14, which I really needed to read yesterday because it made me realize my faith was much like the Israelites.  Instead of remembering everything God has already done for us on this journey, I've been doubting his future promise and not trusting Him to help bring our sweet babies home.  This journey has tested my faith in ways I've never imagined, and even though it has been rough, I have learned so much and have been blessed every step of the way.  So here's to a more Caleb-like faith and less of and Israelite-doubting faith.

You've Got Mail....Or Not

Checking my email is usually a daily task I look forward too.  Things have constantly been moving in Rwanda and it's so exciting to see what's happening next.  Well lately (especially today), I have not felt the same about checking my email.  Instead it has become more of a dreaded task.  Instead of checking it first thing in the morning like I used to, I wait until the afternoon, partially out of fear.  Why fear?  Well, this is what happens: I go to my email and have excitement thinking today might be the day we hear something from Rwanda.  After opening my email, all the excitement washes away and turns into great disappointment.  I feel like it takes me a couple hours to recover from this emotional roller coaster.  Maybe I should take a break from checking my email?  I obviously need to trust God's timing more, I thought I was, but this definitely says otherwise.