March 27, 2010

Dossier

I thought I would share a bit with you on my thoughts about our dossier.  For those of you not familiar with this term, our dossier refers to the stack of papers that will be sent to Rwanda requesting 2 children for adoption.  This stack of papers includes things like our background checks,  physical forms, birth certificates, financial statements, letters requesting our children, and many more things.  I have had this stack of papers ready for a couple months now (with the exception of re-dating our doctor letters, state certification, our home study, and of course our USCIS approval). 

I will honestly admit that this stack of papers is currently the most valuable thing I own.  I have actually contemplated putting it in our fire-proof safe, because if anything happened to it, I would be devastated.  To me, our dossier represents our children that can't be with us right now.  It is literally the ticket to our children, the one thing that allows us to get them.  It is also the only thing that I feel connects us to them right now.  The dossier is what makes this paper pregnancy seem real.  So if you are asking if I have an obsession with a stack of papers, the answer would be "yes."  I have such an obsession in fact, that I check it regularly to make sure everything is there.

10 signs that you might have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (O.C.D.):

1. You have such an urge to spring clean and re-organize everything, that it drives you crazy not knowing where you will be living in the next 6 months.

2. Your urge to spring clean is so strong that it seems to be all you can talk about when people ask how you are doing or what is going on in your life.

3. Your enthusiasm is so persistent, that one of your friends has contemplated inviting you over to clean her house.

4. You find yourself re-organizing cupboards and closets constantly, to use space more efficiently of course, and your husband can never seem to find anything. =)

5. You lose sleep over trying to figure out the best way to organize your children's toys.

6. Some of your favorite shows to watch on TV are the ones on TLC and HGTV that have to do with cleaning and re-organizing people's houses.

7. You find yourself spending hours in the "Container Store" getting all kinds of great organizing ideas.

8. Your favorite things to shop for are different kinds of storage containers, shelf re-organizing systems, etc.

9. You spend so much time re-organizing and cleaning, as well as obsessing about it, that you have no clue what else happened this week.

10. You have passed your obsession on to one of your children, who know freaks out if things aren't put away correctly, and they find joy in organizing their toys instead of playing with them.

If you answered "yes" to any one of these, you might have O.C.D.  If you answered "yes" to all of these, you need some serious help.  Okay, so I answered yes to all of the above, and I admit, I have O.C.D.  But in my defense, I am also nesting like crazy.  I have an overwhelming urge to prepare our home for 2 more children more than anything.  This of course includes a lot of re-organizing because 2 more kids, means a lot more stuff.  By the way, we do now know where we will be living, which was such a relief to me because I have the spring cleaning bug, nesting bug, and O.C.D.

March 22, 2010

Hooray!

First, I would like to take a minute to apologize. I am so sorry for my meltdown blog this morning.  Definitely some emotional verbal vomit, but I feel that I need to keep it real, especially for those to who will take this same journey.  The path God leads us down is never easy, and I wish I could tell you that I can handle each bump well, but that is obviously not the case.  I guess that's what makes me human, and each day God teaches me over and over and over to trust Him, rest in Him, and find peace in Him.

On a very exciting note, I did get an email from my case worker this afternoon.  For those of you wondering, I didn't contact her 1st, she contacted me, I did restrain myself.  She said L's CBI came in the mail today and his FBI should be no more than 2 weeks behind.  Such a huge answer to prayer, keep praying that the next one comes in soon.  And pray that I will once again find peace in God's perfect timing.

S.O.S.

Okay prayer warriors, I really need your prayers this week!  Please pray for my sanity and for L's background checks to come in.  We are arriving upon week 9 of this wait, and I'm not going to lie, I am now REALLY struggling with this.  This wait was supposed to be very short in relation to the rest of our adoption.  It is going to take everything in me to not contact my case worker everyday this week to see if she has gotten the background checks or to beg her to make some phone calls to find out where it is.  I have also thought of every possible thing that could have happened with his background checks:
       1. the post office lost his fingerprint card 
       2. our agency mailed them to the wrong address
       3. the fingerprint card is lost in a stack of papers at the
          CBI/FBI
       4. the CBI/FBI mailed the clearances to the wrong place
       5. the post office lost the clearances
       6. they are sitting on my case workers desk, but she didn't get
           them because she's been out of the office
       7. they have already come in but my case worker forgot to
          call me (she assured me this wouldn't happen)

As you can see, I've lost it, and this list goes on and on if you were wondering.  My mind is now consumed with possible scenarios, and I have started to lose sleep over this.  Please pray for me to have peace in God's timing and for the papers to come in soon!!!   

March 17, 2010

Quote of the Day

"Our greatest fear as individuals should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don't really matter."  -Francis Chan (Crazy Love)

March 15, 2010

8 Weeks

Nothing new here.  We have now been waiting for L's background checks for 8 weeks (this was only supposed to take a few weeks).  Below is a bit of information for you to absorb about Rwanda (got it from another adoption blog).

"Rwanda, one of the poorest countries in the world, is a beautiful country struggling under the weight of the devastating genocide that occurred in 1994, when over 800,000 Rwandans were brutally murdered – leaving families decimated and the country’s infrastructure in shambles. In the aftermath of this tragedy, poverty increased, particularly among children. Half of Rwanda’s population is under the age of 18. Most of these children live on less than $1 a day. The infant mortality rate remains high at 37 per 1000 live births, and illnesses like HIV/AIDS have created a new wave of orphans. (Source: UNICEF)

Since the genocide, Rwanda has made great strides in advancing its economy and stabilizing its government; however, the orphan crisis has been largely unaddressed. In the entire United States, with a population exceeding 300 million people, there are 130,000 adoptable children . Compare that to the nearly 860,000 orphans in Rwanda - a country just the size of Maryland, with total population of 10.7 million people. This number of Rwandan orphans includes children in orphanages as well as an orphan group made up entirely of ‘child-headed households’. “Rwanda has one of the world’s largest proportions of households that are headed by children (i.e. children raising children) with an estimated 101,000 children heading up some 42,000 households.” (UNICEF, 2004)
Until 2008, Rwanda did not allow international adoptions. Because Rwanda has just recently opened to international adoption, the country does not have the same advanced adoption resources and infrastructure as seen in the United States and other countries. There remains an overall lack of awareness of the crucial needs and life-threatening conditions that Rwandan orphans face."
 

March 4, 2010

God is SO Good

This last week I have been reminded at how amazing God is and that when he calls you to do something, He will provide.  As we have embarked on this journey, we are trusting God to provide.  And last week we were reminded at how amazing our God truly is as he provided a large amount of money that will pay for the next part of our adoption!  You truly learn amazing things when you put your complete faith in God's plan for you!

As for the status of our home study:  It is still complete, minus L's FBI check that we are still waiting on.  But, it has been approved by our agency and we are going to sign it tomorrow.