Intentional parenting is hard, you are always busy and not always supported by everyone around you. We learned this early on when family and friends criticized us for some of the boundaries and structure we had with Kristin & Kade. Well, we now are being intentional with Kyler as well, but for many more reasons. As an adoptive parent it is SO much more important to be intentional and I've realized today that the honeymoon is over. It's so much harder being intentional with Kyler because not only do we try to have boundaries and structure like we did with our biological children, we are also working on things like attachment, sleeping habits, etc. It is so much more work and you definitely start to feel isolated (as well as drained) after a while because we are definitely the minority. When you realize that your new baby willingly climbs into the laps of strangers, this is a huge red flag, which makes my effort at other places even more demanding (one more reason to not go places). And when you battle nap time daily, it becomes draining, because the reality is that I need that break just as much as he does. So today we took many steps back after I thought we were moving forward. He used to cling to Luke and I and have discovered within the last couple days that he willingly will just go to strangers. We also taught him how to nap when we got home (he wasn't napping in Rwanda) and now he's not napping again. So today it looks like we are starting back at square one and we need to be even more intentional.
Praying for you Rebecca. I remember how isolating and lonely those first few months were when we were working hard on attachment. It really is worth it!
ReplyDeleteBecca and Luke,
ReplyDeletePress on! The work you are doing now will reap so much later. I know you know this, but sometimes it's nice to hear it from someone else too. I will be praying.
Sue