I thought I would share a bit with you on my thoughts about our dossier. For those of you not familiar with this term, our dossier refers to the stack of papers that will be sent to Rwanda requesting 2 children for adoption. This stack of papers includes things like our background checks, physical forms, birth certificates, financial statements, letters requesting our children, and many more things. I have had this stack of papers ready for a couple months now (with the exception of re-dating our doctor letters, state certification, our home study, and of course our USCIS approval).
I will honestly admit that this stack of papers is currently the most valuable thing I own. I have actually contemplated putting it in our fire-proof safe, because if anything happened to it, I would be devastated. To me, our dossier represents our children that can't be with us right now. It is literally the ticket to our children, the one thing that allows us to get them. It is also the only thing that I feel connects us to them right now. The dossier is what makes this paper pregnancy seem real. So if you are asking if I have an obsession with a stack of papers, the answer would be "yes." I have such an obsession in fact, that I check it regularly to make sure everything is there.
March 27, 2010
10 signs that you might have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (O.C.D.):
1. You have such an urge to spring clean and re-organize everything, that it drives you crazy not knowing where you will be living in the next 6 months.
2. Your urge to spring clean is so strong that it seems to be all you can talk about when people ask how you are doing or what is going on in your life.
3. Your enthusiasm is so persistent, that one of your friends has contemplated inviting you over to clean her house.
4. You find yourself re-organizing cupboards and closets constantly, to use space more efficiently of course, and your husband can never seem to find anything. =)
5. You lose sleep over trying to figure out the best way to organize your children's toys.
6. Some of your favorite shows to watch on TV are the ones on TLC and HGTV that have to do with cleaning and re-organizing people's houses.
7. You find yourself spending hours in the "Container Store" getting all kinds of great organizing ideas.
8. Your favorite things to shop for are different kinds of storage containers, shelf re-organizing systems, etc.
9. You spend so much time re-organizing and cleaning, as well as obsessing about it, that you have no clue what else happened this week.
10. You have passed your obsession on to one of your children, who know freaks out if things aren't put away correctly, and they find joy in organizing their toys instead of playing with them.
If you answered "yes" to any one of these, you might have O.C.D. If you answered "yes" to all of these, you need some serious help. Okay, so I answered yes to all of the above, and I admit, I have O.C.D. But in my defense, I am also nesting like crazy. I have an overwhelming urge to prepare our home for 2 more children more than anything. This of course includes a lot of re-organizing because 2 more kids, means a lot more stuff. By the way, we do now know where we will be living, which was such a relief to me because I have the spring cleaning bug, nesting bug, and O.C.D.
2. Your urge to spring clean is so strong that it seems to be all you can talk about when people ask how you are doing or what is going on in your life.
3. Your enthusiasm is so persistent, that one of your friends has contemplated inviting you over to clean her house.
4. You find yourself re-organizing cupboards and closets constantly, to use space more efficiently of course, and your husband can never seem to find anything. =)
5. You lose sleep over trying to figure out the best way to organize your children's toys.
6. Some of your favorite shows to watch on TV are the ones on TLC and HGTV that have to do with cleaning and re-organizing people's houses.
7. You find yourself spending hours in the "Container Store" getting all kinds of great organizing ideas.
8. Your favorite things to shop for are different kinds of storage containers, shelf re-organizing systems, etc.
9. You spend so much time re-organizing and cleaning, as well as obsessing about it, that you have no clue what else happened this week.
10. You have passed your obsession on to one of your children, who know freaks out if things aren't put away correctly, and they find joy in organizing their toys instead of playing with them.
If you answered "yes" to any one of these, you might have O.C.D. If you answered "yes" to all of these, you need some serious help. Okay, so I answered yes to all of the above, and I admit, I have O.C.D. But in my defense, I am also nesting like crazy. I have an overwhelming urge to prepare our home for 2 more children more than anything. This of course includes a lot of re-organizing because 2 more kids, means a lot more stuff. By the way, we do now know where we will be living, which was such a relief to me because I have the spring cleaning bug, nesting bug, and O.C.D.
March 22, 2010
Hooray!
First, I would like to take a minute to apologize. I am so sorry for my meltdown blog this morning. Definitely some emotional verbal vomit, but I feel that I need to keep it real, especially for those to who will take this same journey. The path God leads us down is never easy, and I wish I could tell you that I can handle each bump well, but that is obviously not the case. I guess that's what makes me human, and each day God teaches me over and over and over to trust Him, rest in Him, and find peace in Him.
On a very exciting note, I did get an email from my case worker this afternoon. For those of you wondering, I didn't contact her 1st, she contacted me, I did restrain myself. She said L's CBI came in the mail today and his FBI should be no more than 2 weeks behind. Such a huge answer to prayer, keep praying that the next one comes in soon. And pray that I will once again find peace in God's perfect timing.
On a very exciting note, I did get an email from my case worker this afternoon. For those of you wondering, I didn't contact her 1st, she contacted me, I did restrain myself. She said L's CBI came in the mail today and his FBI should be no more than 2 weeks behind. Such a huge answer to prayer, keep praying that the next one comes in soon. And pray that I will once again find peace in God's perfect timing.
S.O.S.
Okay prayer warriors, I really need your prayers this week! Please pray for my sanity and for L's background checks to come in. We are arriving upon week 9 of this wait, and I'm not going to lie, I am now REALLY struggling with this. This wait was supposed to be very short in relation to the rest of our adoption. It is going to take everything in me to not contact my case worker everyday this week to see if she has gotten the background checks or to beg her to make some phone calls to find out where it is. I have also thought of every possible thing that could have happened with his background checks:
1. the post office lost his fingerprint card
2. our agency mailed them to the wrong address
3. the fingerprint card is lost in a stack of papers at the
CBI/FBI
4. the CBI/FBI mailed the clearances to the wrong place
5. the post office lost the clearances
6. they are sitting on my case workers desk, but she didn't get
them because she's been out of the office
7. they have already come in but my case worker forgot to
call me (she assured me this wouldn't happen)
As you can see, I've lost it, and this list goes on and on if you were wondering. My mind is now consumed with possible scenarios, and I have started to lose sleep over this. Please pray for me to have peace in God's timing and for the papers to come in soon!!!
1. the post office lost his fingerprint card
2. our agency mailed them to the wrong address
3. the fingerprint card is lost in a stack of papers at the
CBI/FBI
4. the CBI/FBI mailed the clearances to the wrong place
5. the post office lost the clearances
6. they are sitting on my case workers desk, but she didn't get
them because she's been out of the office
7. they have already come in but my case worker forgot to
call me (she assured me this wouldn't happen)
As you can see, I've lost it, and this list goes on and on if you were wondering. My mind is now consumed with possible scenarios, and I have started to lose sleep over this. Please pray for me to have peace in God's timing and for the papers to come in soon!!!
March 17, 2010
Quote of the Day
"Our greatest fear as individuals should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don't really matter." -Francis Chan (Crazy Love)
March 15, 2010
8 Weeks
Nothing new here. We have now been waiting for L's background checks for 8 weeks (this was only supposed to take a few weeks). Below is a bit of information for you to absorb about Rwanda (got it from another adoption blog).
"Rwanda, one of the poorest countries in the world, is a beautiful country struggling under the weight of the devastating genocide that occurred in 1994, when over 800,000 Rwandans were brutally murdered – leaving families decimated and the country’s infrastructure in shambles. In the aftermath of this tragedy, poverty increased, particularly among children. Half of Rwanda’s population is under the age of 18. Most of these children live on less than $1 a day. The infant mortality rate remains high at 37 per 1000 live births, and illnesses like HIV/AIDS have created a new wave of orphans. (Source: UNICEF)
Since the genocide, Rwanda has made great strides in advancing its economy and stabilizing its government; however, the orphan crisis has been largely unaddressed. In the entire United States, with a population exceeding 300 million people, there are 130,000 adoptable children . Compare that to the nearly 860,000 orphans in Rwanda - a country just the size of Maryland, with total population of 10.7 million people. This number of Rwandan orphans includes children in orphanages as well as an orphan group made up entirely of ‘child-headed households’. “Rwanda has one of the world’s largest proportions of households that are headed by children (i.e. children raising children) with an estimated 101,000 children heading up some 42,000 households.” (UNICEF, 2004)
Until 2008, Rwanda did not allow international adoptions. Because Rwanda has just recently opened to international adoption, the country does not have the same advanced adoption resources and infrastructure as seen in the United States and other countries. There remains an overall lack of awareness of the crucial needs and life-threatening conditions that Rwandan orphans face."
"Rwanda, one of the poorest countries in the world, is a beautiful country struggling under the weight of the devastating genocide that occurred in 1994, when over 800,000 Rwandans were brutally murdered – leaving families decimated and the country’s infrastructure in shambles. In the aftermath of this tragedy, poverty increased, particularly among children. Half of Rwanda’s population is under the age of 18. Most of these children live on less than $1 a day. The infant mortality rate remains high at 37 per 1000 live births, and illnesses like HIV/AIDS have created a new wave of orphans. (Source: UNICEF)
Since the genocide, Rwanda has made great strides in advancing its economy and stabilizing its government; however, the orphan crisis has been largely unaddressed. In the entire United States, with a population exceeding 300 million people, there are 130,000 adoptable children . Compare that to the nearly 860,000 orphans in Rwanda - a country just the size of Maryland, with total population of 10.7 million people. This number of Rwandan orphans includes children in orphanages as well as an orphan group made up entirely of ‘child-headed households’. “Rwanda has one of the world’s largest proportions of households that are headed by children (i.e. children raising children) with an estimated 101,000 children heading up some 42,000 households.” (UNICEF, 2004)
Until 2008, Rwanda did not allow international adoptions. Because Rwanda has just recently opened to international adoption, the country does not have the same advanced adoption resources and infrastructure as seen in the United States and other countries. There remains an overall lack of awareness of the crucial needs and life-threatening conditions that Rwandan orphans face."
March 4, 2010
God is SO Good
This last week I have been reminded at how amazing God is and that when he calls you to do something, He will provide. As we have embarked on this journey, we are trusting God to provide. And last week we were reminded at how amazing our God truly is as he provided a large amount of money that will pay for the next part of our adoption! You truly learn amazing things when you put your complete faith in God's plan for you!
As for the status of our home study: It is still complete, minus L's FBI check that we are still waiting on. But, it has been approved by our agency and we are going to sign it tomorrow.
As for the status of our home study: It is still complete, minus L's FBI check that we are still waiting on. But, it has been approved by our agency and we are going to sign it tomorrow.
February 17, 2010
Orphan Care
I thought I'd take this moment to share more of my heart with you. Last year God laid orphan care on my heart. There are millions of orphans in this world, last year there were 147 million, that number has increased and continues to increase everyday. Here in our comfortable American lives it's easy to ignore this because we live in a very wealthy country. Even when we think we are poor, we do not truly grasp what it means to live below poverty. It is time to stop being ignorant and do something! Below are some stats for you to ponder:
Every 15 SECONDS, another child becomes an AIDS orphan in Africa
Every DAY 5,760 more children become orphans
Every YEAR 2,102,400 more children become orphans (in Africa alone)
These are just a few of the statistics, the rest are very overwhelming, I'll save them for another blog. Clearly there is a huge problem in this world, you can choose to ignore it, or choose to do something about it.
We are currently adopting, but this is only the beginning. I plan to defend this cause for the rest of my life!!! I'm not quite sure how yet, but I will keep you posted. You may not be at a place in your life where you are able to adopt, and thats okay. There are so many other ways you can help! Here are some ideas: You can sponsor a child, there are some great ministries that can help you do this (Compassion, World Vision, Vision Trust). Donate to organizations that help with orphan care (check out the links on the right of this blog). Buy products that go directly to helping with orphan care (147 million orphans link). Help out a family who is adopting. This list goes on and on, get creative.
My final question that I will leave you to ponder: How are you going to make a difference in the life of an orphan?
Every 15 SECONDS, another child becomes an AIDS orphan in Africa
Every DAY 5,760 more children become orphans
Every YEAR 2,102,400 more children become orphans (in Africa alone)
These are just a few of the statistics, the rest are very overwhelming, I'll save them for another blog. Clearly there is a huge problem in this world, you can choose to ignore it, or choose to do something about it.
We are currently adopting, but this is only the beginning. I plan to defend this cause for the rest of my life!!! I'm not quite sure how yet, but I will keep you posted. You may not be at a place in your life where you are able to adopt, and thats okay. There are so many other ways you can help! Here are some ideas: You can sponsor a child, there are some great ministries that can help you do this (Compassion, World Vision, Vision Trust). Donate to organizations that help with orphan care (check out the links on the right of this blog). Buy products that go directly to helping with orphan care (147 million orphans link). Help out a family who is adopting. This list goes on and on, get creative.
My final question that I will leave you to ponder: How are you going to make a difference in the life of an orphan?
February 9, 2010
Control
These last couple weeks I have learned that I do not have control of this adoption; it is all in God's hands. I have found myself trying to take control, but each time it seems to back fire. I have thought a couple times now I have had our dossier completed, but have then found random errors that need fixing. I have also tried to come up with ways to make extra money to help pay for this adoption, but again was reminded that I need to trust God to provide. We have definitely learned so much already, and this is only the beginning of our journey!
January 27, 2010
Frustration
So now I am going to vent. I just found out from our case worker that our other background checks are complete. These are the ones that could have taken a couple months. A definite mountain moved by God. So our homestudy could have been close to complete if L didn't have to be re-fingerprinted. Which by the way he did yesterday and I had them over-nighted. So pray that they are processed quickly. In the mean time, I keep trying to remind myself that God's timing for everything is perfect, and some situations are completely out of my control!
January 25, 2010
Last Homestudy
Today was our last home study visit. Now the 1st part of a lot of waiting begins. We are now waiting for background checks to be complete in order for our case worker to finish our home study. Did I mention how amazing our caseworker is, definitely a God send.
We also ran into another bump in the road. Our case worker told us today Luke's fingerprints would have to be redone for the background checks. The FBI had trouble reading his typed name. Which last time it took L over 2 weeks to even get his fingerprints done because the hours don't exactly coincide with his job. So pray that he can get them done ASAP and that our background checks get done quickly. We've heard that the child abuse check could take months.
In the mean time, there are 9 families in Rwanda right now getting their children. I have enjoyed following their blogs, praying for them, and crying with them as I watch the videos of them getting their children. I know, a little sappy, but it seems to keep us going as we begin our long wait to get our children.
We also ran into another bump in the road. Our case worker told us today Luke's fingerprints would have to be redone for the background checks. The FBI had trouble reading his typed name. Which last time it took L over 2 weeks to even get his fingerprints done because the hours don't exactly coincide with his job. So pray that he can get them done ASAP and that our background checks get done quickly. We've heard that the child abuse check could take months.
In the mean time, there are 9 families in Rwanda right now getting their children. I have enjoyed following their blogs, praying for them, and crying with them as I watch the videos of them getting their children. I know, a little sappy, but it seems to keep us going as we begin our long wait to get our children.
January 18, 2010
The Process
So I realized after the first post that we left out a few details that you may want to know. The country we are adopting from is Rwanda. We are requesting two one-year-olds, a boy and a girl. Just because we are requesting 2 children, does not mean the government of Rwanda will approve us for 2 children; of course we hope this is not the case. This is one thing we will have to leave in God's hands; He knows what is best for us! This whole process should take about a year.
Currently we are in the middle of doing our home study. For those of you not familiar with the term home study, here is our definition. It's where a complete stranger comes into your home and seems to know everything about you (after reveiwing many documents that we sent to her). She then interviews us (4 different times, some being separate) and determines if we are fit to adopt. This case worker then writes a detailed report about us that will be used for other parts of our adoption process.
We are also currently in the process of collecting documents for our dossier. The dossier is the packet of papers that will get sent to Rwanda. This part of our "paper pregnancy" has definitely caused some high blood pressure on my part. Had some issues getting my birth certificate from the state of California, but thanks to a fabulous website called vitalchek.com, the U.S. Government has helped me to get it since California is definitely having some issues! Also ordered the wrong backround checks and had to re-order those.
All things considered, we've only hit some minor bumps in the road. I'm sure there will be many more to come. We will continue to keep you posted on where we are at in this process. In the mean time, pray for God's perfect timing!
Currently we are in the middle of doing our home study. For those of you not familiar with the term home study, here is our definition. It's where a complete stranger comes into your home and seems to know everything about you (after reveiwing many documents that we sent to her). She then interviews us (4 different times, some being separate) and determines if we are fit to adopt. This case worker then writes a detailed report about us that will be used for other parts of our adoption process.
We are also currently in the process of collecting documents for our dossier. The dossier is the packet of papers that will get sent to Rwanda. This part of our "paper pregnancy" has definitely caused some high blood pressure on my part. Had some issues getting my birth certificate from the state of California, but thanks to a fabulous website called vitalchek.com, the U.S. Government has helped me to get it since California is definitely having some issues! Also ordered the wrong backround checks and had to re-order those.
All things considered, we've only hit some minor bumps in the road. I'm sure there will be many more to come. We will continue to keep you posted on where we are at in this process. In the mean time, pray for God's perfect timing!
January 12, 2010
Why
As we have shared with our family and friends that we are in the process of adopting from Africa, we have received many responses. The main response is complete excitement for us, our family, and our future children. Along with this response there have been many comments on how we are doing such a noble/admirable thing. This response in itself is why we chose to create this blog. In addition to keeping everyone up-to-date on where we are in this adoption process, we also wanted to clarify why we are doing this.
As Christians, we have learned that our plans many times do not match up with God's plan for us. And, God's plans for us many times lead us to do things that are very different from the world around us. With that being said, if you had asked us a year ago, we would have told you we were done having children. But over the last year God made it clear to us that we were to have more children, and that they were not to be our own. So we are not doing this to earn gold stars or brownie points. On the contrary, we are do this because it is where God is leading us and all the glory should go to Him, not us. We are simply being obedient.
We have also been asked by many people, "Why Africa?" or one of my personal favorites, "You do realize those children will be more black than the black children here?" There are currently 147 million ophans in the world, and there are a lot here in the U.S. But we felt like our government does a good job of financially supporting these children through our foster care system. There are other countries on the other hand that have more of a need for help than ours. Not to mention, unfortunatley we will still live in a time where many people do not want to adopt black children. We recentley read an article talking about how the adoption rate in China has increased greatly and some people believe this is due to the fact that Chinese children are closer to white than other children. Our point being, in addition to God leading us to Africia, there is a definite need for homes for black children, even here in the U.S.
My challenge to each of you is to find ways that you can help. This doesn't mean you need to adopt, but there are many ways you can help the millions of orphans here in the U.S. and all over the world. Check out the links above our pictures.
I would also like to ask you to pray for us on this journey that we just only begun. There will be many ups and downs that require a lot of patience and us waiting on God's perfect timing.
As Christians, we have learned that our plans many times do not match up with God's plan for us. And, God's plans for us many times lead us to do things that are very different from the world around us. With that being said, if you had asked us a year ago, we would have told you we were done having children. But over the last year God made it clear to us that we were to have more children, and that they were not to be our own. So we are not doing this to earn gold stars or brownie points. On the contrary, we are do this because it is where God is leading us and all the glory should go to Him, not us. We are simply being obedient.
We have also been asked by many people, "Why Africa?" or one of my personal favorites, "You do realize those children will be more black than the black children here?" There are currently 147 million ophans in the world, and there are a lot here in the U.S. But we felt like our government does a good job of financially supporting these children through our foster care system. There are other countries on the other hand that have more of a need for help than ours. Not to mention, unfortunatley we will still live in a time where many people do not want to adopt black children. We recentley read an article talking about how the adoption rate in China has increased greatly and some people believe this is due to the fact that Chinese children are closer to white than other children. Our point being, in addition to God leading us to Africia, there is a definite need for homes for black children, even here in the U.S.
My challenge to each of you is to find ways that you can help. This doesn't mean you need to adopt, but there are many ways you can help the millions of orphans here in the U.S. and all over the world. Check out the links above our pictures.
I would also like to ask you to pray for us on this journey that we just only begun. There will be many ups and downs that require a lot of patience and us waiting on God's perfect timing.
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