Hello Kenya

Last night we flew into Kenya, the flight went good (a bit crazy with such a large group of us), but pretty good.  Although, when we were going through ticketing at the Kigali Airport, a rat just fell from the ceiling.  It was quite comical.  By the time we got through immigration, got our visa's, got all the luggage and checked into the hotel it was almost midnight.  Then we had to be up very early this morning (5:30am) to get to IOM to do medical's for Kyler's visa.  This was by far the longest I have ever sat in an office and waited for anything.  We all decided we deserved somekind of award.  We sat here (with our babies) for 9.5 hours.  SOOOO thankful our medicals are complete and 1st thing tomorrow morning we will hopefully getting Kyler's visa taken care of.  We found lots of random ways to entertain ourselves during this very long wait, including a mini-halloween celebration by pretending what costumes we were wearing. =)  All the kids did awesome, Kyler has become a pro at waiting in offices, especially ones that are too dirty for him to crawl around and play in.

Nairobi is way different from Kigali.  After only be here a very short amount of time, we really missed Rwanda.  This city is HUGE with a lot of traffic.  When I say huge, I mean New York huge.  I'd totally compare it to New York when it comes to size.  It is also much more modern here compared to Rwanda.  It feels like we are in the 70's version of the United States (but with better technology of course).  The cars and building all look like they are from the 70s. 

A random Kyler story for you.  Today he had his 1st carpet experience (in Rwanda most floors are tile).  Our hotel here has carpet, so when he got a chance to crawl around, he just kept sprawling on the carpet and rubbing his hands and face in it.  He was so happy.  Of course he was also probably releaved just to be able to play after sitting in an office all day.   

Good Bye Rwanda

It's very bittersweet that we are leaving today.  We are excited that we are much closer to coming home but also sad because we really have grown to love it here in Rwanda.  We both just love everything about it here.  Luke is already trying to figure out how to buy some land here some day.  We know that someday we will be back here, when and for what, well only God knows this.

Yesterday we took another trip to the village, the country here is just beautiful, nothing but green rolling hills as far as the eye can see.  You definitely understand why it is called "land of a thousand hills."  I tried to post a couple pictures of this, but my camera didn't want to upload this morning.

On a very random note, Luke surprised me yesterday with some beautiful jewelry and wallet.  He has been absolutely amazing on this trip.  He has been such an awesome dad with Kyler and so helpful in many ways.  I am definitely blessed.

We fly into Kenya tonight.  Please pray that everything goes smoothly at the U.S. Embassy this week.  Also pray for safety while we are there.  There has been some random terrorist activity that has caused the U.S. State Department to issue traveling warnings about.

Mountains Moved

We saw God move in amazing ways today, all our paperwork is done today which as far as I'm concerned is a complete act of God.  There's no other way of explaining it.  Today did consist of a lot of waiting (about 5 hours) at 2 different offices, but all the kids did awesome.  Another God thing!   An even better praise is that Kyler slept great last night and is acting so much better today!!!  He's back to his happy,playful self.  So, we will fly into Kenya Sunday.Praying that everything goes quickly at the embassy in Nairobi so we can be home by the end of next week!!!

Only One Business Day Left

Most of today consisted of waiting in an office.  You know how some people sit in offices doing silent protesting, that is exactly what we did.  Little was said, and we weren't holding signs, just making our presence known.  After 2.5 hours of waiting (1 hour in the am, the rest in the pm),  we are still waiting for this important document just so we can get Kyler's passport, which is ready but needs this one document.  And of course we can't finish our paperwork at the U.S. Embassy here with out his passport.  We are praying and asking you to pray with us that God moves mountains tomorrow with this paper work.  The U.S. Embassy closes tomorrow and 1pm, the immigration office doesn't like to give passports in the morning, and 1st thing early tomorrow we are going back to the same office to wait for this important document.  This definitely made for a long day, and tomorrow morning could be quite crazy.

Kyler had another rough night last night and after observing him today, he definitely has an ear infection (which totally explains the last 2 nights of restless sleep).  Poor thing was very lathargic today.  Thankfully he did get some rest today.  Praying he gets a good nights rest tonight and that the anti-biotics help him quickly, especailly before we fly to Kenya on Sunday.

This morning we drove outside of Kigali to a village to see what life is really like for most Rwandans.  First, let me just say it is absolutely beautiful here.  There is nothing but lush green rolling hills as far as you can see.  The most beautiful country I have ever seen, hands down.  The hard part was seeing the people of the village, especially the children.  They were all so beautiful, despite how filthy they were.  But the sad reality that was shared with us was that many of these kids would die within a couple years.  The malnourishment is so high that any simple sickness becomes fatal.  We hear about situations like this all the time, but to actually see it is a completely different story.  It makes it so real and your heart just breaks.  The sad reality is that this is how most of the people in Rwanda live.  What's even more amazing is that simple farming education could make a huge difference in all the villages around here.  Helping is so simple yet so hard....think about it..... 

P.S. Sorry there are no pictures today, my camera didn't want to upload tonight.

Mommy Time

This morning the moms got some much needed mommy time and had a pedicure.  It was amazing.  This was the most detailed pedicure I have ever had and it only cost 4,500 (Rwanda Franks that is, which is $7.50 american dollars).  So it was the best and cheapest pedicure. =)  While we were being pamered, the daddy's took the kids to check on some paperwork that we were still waiting on.  Well, we are still waiting and if we had gotten this one piece of paper today we would have been able to be completely done here in Rwanda (all our other documents are waiting on this paper).  Praying it's done tomorrow.

Today we also got to tour the orphanage where Kyler was cared for.  I won't share details about this because this is Kyler's history for him to share, but let me just tell you that the nuns who run this orphanage are heros.  What they do there is just amazing and they love these children more than you can imagine.  It is such a blessing to know how loved and cared for Kyler was while he lived there, he really loved some of these sisters and they loved him.

Today was definitely the toughest day we have had with Kyler so far.  He only slept until about midnight last night and then faught sleeping the rest of the night.  We were definitely exhausted today, Kyler especially.  He was so tired and crabby today.  It also didn't help that just when we thought he was better he developed this nasty cough that caused him to gag and spit up quite a bit, poor little guy. Praying he gets better soon!!!

Mission Accomplished

So, for those of you dying to know how our laundry turned out, it was a complete success.  The maid came up and saw our close lines 1st thing this morning and said they were okay.  YAY!  Who knew that something so simple would be so exciting.  The best part is that today was warm all day, not a single rain shower (each day it usually has rained once), so the clothes were all dry by the end of today.

Today we stepped onto U.S. soil here in Rwanda.  We went to the U.S. Embassy to start processing paperwork and I got a lesson on how this was actually U.S. soil.  It did make me laugh because this is the only building we have been in here that acutally had air conditioning and automatic flushing toilets.  Oh the luxuries of the U.S. =)  Also a waste of money, shipping in those toilets cost thousands and the weather is not hot enough right now to be running the a/c.

We also bought some beautiful artwork today by a Rwandan artist named Bosco.  So excited about this new picture for my living room, it's amazing.  There was lots of great artwork there by multiple artists. 

Well, it's getting late here.  I would have typed this sooner but I was trying to figure why my email wasn't working.  Thanks for the nice comments on the blog, we have been receiving them, I just can't publish them on the blog yet because blogger comes up in French (instead of English) when I go online.

1st Time For Everything

This morning we had some free time so I did some laundry.  I was going to wait until later this week, but Kyler was sick last night so the need arose.  Laundry here (at our hotel) is a little over $1 per item, making a load over $50.  So, for the first time I scrubbed our dirty laundry in the bath tub.  This may sound strange, but my OCD side found this rather theraputic (I do still miss my washing machine).  I hung some of our clothes to dry on our balcony.  Well, while we were napping, the maid pounded on the door, then tried to explain non-verbally (she doesn't know much english) that we can't have our clothes out there.  I wouldn't have been very annoyed, but this was the 1st time Kyler was actually taking a really good nap (this woke him up and he was not happy) and other families were able to hang their clothes on their back decks.  We have a front deck facing the court yard (I get that this is an eye sore, but maybe then their laundry service shouldn't be so expensive).  Our solution was using twine and still using our deck but tying it lower so you can't see it from the court yard.  I guess we will see if we get in trouble tomorrow. =)

So Stinkin' Irresistable

This little guy is just amazing.  You could tell he is getting very comfortable today, he started showing his joyful personality outside of the hotel room.  He has been doing well for all the transition he has endured in the last week.  I can't believe that only a week ago we were just meeting him for the 1st time.Seems like he has been with us forever.  It also feels like we have been here for a lot longer than a week.  Here's a very random fact about our son, when he goes to sleep at night he's out cold.  You can change him, play with him, etc. and get no response.  I've never seen anybody sleep this hard.  He knows how to make everyone smile and he's a very busy boy.  He will do very well with his big brother.

Today we went to the church one of our POA's works at.  I loved the worship, so joyful and moving.  Church lasted 3 hours, which was very difficult for the little ones, but they did awesome.

The last 2 days have not been as busy, which is nice, but I still feel completely exhausted.  Please pray for the health of everyone in our group.  Multiple children and parents have been sick the last couple days.  Pray for energy as we have another week of appointments ahead of us.

So In Love

We are just smitten over this little guy.  Today we got to keep him for ever, and once we left Home of Hope he totally came to life.  He is super active (he crawls very well) but still loves to cuddle.  And his smile and laugh just makes us melt.  He is happy and full of energy.  Today was a bit more low key than we expected which was so nice, then we had good quality time with Kyler.  We went to get Kyler's passport started this morning, and now we just wait.  Here are a few more pictures of our absolutely beautiful baby (sorry if they are side ways, this blogger app doesn't want to co-operate).

Fovever Ours

We are so excited to introduce our new son, Kyler Jephte.

More Rwanda Randomness

Let me first just start with how absolutely amazing God is.  We have seen in work in amazing ways and answer so many prayer requests.  No request is too small for God.  For example, we have had many different problems with technology, many that have brought me to tears.  The main one is that we have had trouble Skyping with our children at home.  Well today God answered this prayer and it was a huge blessing just to see their sweet faces.  It definitely gave me a huge and much needed peace.  I've also had trouble uploading pictures on our computer, but as you can see below, God answered this prayer today as well.  Just so in awe of his goodness right now.  There are many more things God has done, but to keep this post from getting too long and so I can go to bed soon I'll save these for another day.

We did go to court today and it went very well.  Unfortunately we did not get our ruling yet, but that's okay, but it rarely happens the same day.  For all you future Rwanda adoption families out there, please keep in mind that every person's experience here is very different.  We are at the mercy of all the officials here and need to follow the rules and do as they say.  We would never want to give adoption here a bad name, especially for the sake of all the waiting children and future adoptive families.  On a very random note, while waiting outside for court this morning, we saw the most gigantic bats I've ever seen.  They were huge, it was so cool to see them.

We got to visit Kyler today twice.  We are so in love with this little guy and that just grows more and more each day.  He is definitely familiar with us now and was even comfortable enough to fall asleep in our arms.  Each day we have learned many new things about him from the nuns and from just spending time with him.  The personal information we learn from the nuns we will not share publically.  This is his story and we want him to tell it to others when he is ready.  (Just in case you were wondering).

Most of the pictures below are of flowers that Luke has captured.  The vegetation is just beautiful here.  The random picture of the elephant is at the market called Nakumat, this is the Africa version of Walmart.  This story has everything you need, if you can't find it there you won't find it at all.  The picture of the van is the bus we have been traveling together in, you see these everywhere on the streets.  This is what their buses look like here, and boy can they pack people in them.  Tomorrow we will get a bigger car since our second POA has arrived.  The enjoy plate was someone's dessert today at Bourbon Coffee.  We all really like this place and have now eaten there 3 times.  By the way, I'm not typically a plain coffee drinker, but I love the African Coffee here, it's so yummy.

Random Rwanda Info.

When it comes to the process here, it consists of a lot of waiting, we are literally at the mercy of the different officials as to what happens when.  Yesterday we waited about 3 hours at the sector just to be able to sign the Act of Adoption.  The official Act of Adoption wasn't done until the end of the day, so our POA picked it up so we could bring it to court today.  We waited at court today for about 2 1/2 hours, just to get a court date and our POA made sure all the documents were in order.  It actually took less time to get our court date than our POA expected.  He made it seem like we would be waiting all morning.  On a random note, the books used for court and at the sector are gigantic, like large science notebooks on steriods.  On a very exciting note, we got an expedited court date for tomorrow.

You also wait a while to eat meals as well.  Everything here definitely functions on Africa time.  We've eaten twice at Bourbon Coffee now, which is just amazing.  But you wait at least an hour maybe two for your food. 

To give you a glimpse of the culture.  There are children everywhere.  Statistics say that half of the population here is under 18.  Which makes sense, you see children everywhere.  The kids here love us and all want to shake our hands.  You see babies everywhere all tied on their mommas backs.  The women's dresses are made of the most beautiful brightly colored material.  You see lots of children in uniforms all coming and going from school.  You also see many, many street childen who don't have uniforms.  Many kids don't go to school here because they can't afford it.  During the day you mostly smell desiel fuel, you also occasionally get a wiff of sewage and fires from people burning trash.  At night when everything calms down you smell a beautiful aroma of flowers.  The flowers here are just beautiful, Luke loves taking pictures of them.  It is one of their rainy seasons right now, so it typically seems to rain in the afternoons.  The weather is just beautiful, it's humid, but not too bad, and it's in the 70s during the day and 60s in the evening.  The traffic here is crazy, worse than anything any American complains about.  In the capital city the population is over 1 million people, so on a work day roads are out of control.  It's funny too that they use their horns religiously, different number of honks mean different things.

Today was our 3rd day seeing Kyler and he was so much better, we even got to visit twice today.  You could tell he was getting so much more comfortable with us.  He was more playful and I even got him to smile.  We are so smitten over this little boy, it was very hard on Luke today to leave him.  Praying everything goes smoothly this week so we can keep him forever.

Please pray for court tomorrow and that we pass in the same day.  Also pray for the family I mentioned yesterday, their paperwork is still help up and they really need God to move mountains.  Thanks for checking in on us.  Sorry for no pictures today, we've had lots of technology issues and uploading my pictures is one of them.  Praying that we pass court tomorrow so I can share some pictures of our beautiful baby boy and be one step closer to coming home.

 

Only Day 2

I feel like we have been here for way more than 2 days.  First off, the days seem like they are much longer here.  I know this sounds a bit odd, but everything we did this morning seems so long ago that it feels like it happened a different day.  The fact that our days are so busy, this trip has been emotionally draining, and we are all lacking serious sleep may factor a bit into the long days.
On another note, the group we traveled with is awesome.  God definitely put us together for a purpose, we all mesh together very well.  Our POA was very surprised that we hadn't met each other prior to this trip, we all act like we've known each other for much longer.  We are definitely a very lively group as well, and hopefully it doesn't overwelm our POA. I do know at dinner tonight he got a good laugh just by observing us crazy Americans.
Today we went to the ministry, then went to the sector to sign the Act of Adoption.  This is a very important document needed for court.  You can see the picture of us below.  It felt very important and official, like we were signing our marriage lisence.  We are now one step closer. =)  We also had a traditional African meal at Afrika Bite, it was definitely different, but good.  After that we had a short rest/break then went to the orphanage to spend time with our beautiful chilren.
Kyler did so much better today.  He didn't cry when we took him.  He is defintely very attached to the Sisters (nuns) which is a very good thing that he has this connection.  That being said, he didn't cry as much, but when any of the Sisters came out he cried and reached for them.  We did find out a lot more about him and his personality today, which I'll share later when he decides to show this side to us. =)  But, to justify his crying he doesn't usually go outside so these visits outside are super overwhelming and he normally eats at 4 which is during visiting hours so I'm sure he's hungry.  It was such a blessing just seeing how much better he did today, he of course was still super clingly but for us and bonding that's perfect.  We are so in love with this little guy and can't wait to share pictures.
Please be praying for all the families here, for court, paperwork, etc.  There is specifically one family here who is having serious hold ups in their paperwork, please pray that God moves mountains for them tomorrow.  Also pray for the health of the children, many of them seem very congested and have raspy coughs that hurt.  Also pray that we get good sleep, so much happens in a day that it's hard to turn your brain off.  Also, there is a super noisy bird that wakes us all up at 3:30am (the men at dinner tonight were plotting its death).

Meeting Kyler

We finally met our son today and he's perfect in every way.  Of course he was not too excited about the visit, which I honestly can say I expected.  He was very overwhelmed, not just by us but by all the other families around.  Way too much stimuation for the poor little guy.  Luke figured out that if we hung out in the corner where it was more quiet and away from most of the families he was okay.  It also doesn't help that he's cutting teeth and is super congested.  Praying that as we continue to visit him the next couple days he will warm up more.  When he wasn't crying he was super serious, and I must say he has a pouty lip just like his brother.  I just love those pouty lips, they are so cute and make great pictures. =)

We will start the process of adopting him tomorrow.  Pray that everything goes smoothly with all the paperwork.  Also pray for our health, we are good now, but I think the emotions and jet lag have caught up with us today and we are completely exhausted.

Below are some pictures, hopefully they upload.  One is of the walls at the orphanage.  3 are of the grounds at our hotel, it's absolutely beautiful here.  I feel like I'm in a tropical oasis.  The other two are random pictures of Kigali.  It is just beautiful here.  It's amazing how you see poverty and wealth all meshed in the same place. 

Hello Rwanda

After 3 different flights, a long layover in Chicago, and 18 hours in the air we finally made it.  I can't believe I am posting this from Rwanda, never did I dream of being here.  It's so amazing.  So, I have no pictures of Rwanda to post (we flew in after dark), hopefully I will have some tomorrow.  I do have to say we saw some beautiful sights from the plane though.  We saw some absolutely gorgeous mountains through Europe and enjoyed seeing the lush vegitation as we flew over the Congo (DRC).  Tomorrow we meet our son, stay tuned!!!

Completely Blessed

We have truly been wrapped in love and prayer this last week.  The phone calls, messages, visits, etc. have been a huge blessing for us.  It has reminded us what amazing family and friends God has given us.  All their support and prayers has been truly cherished.  (Even our banker, whom I don't know, told me he was praying for us.) We couldn't do it without them.  Most importantly it has reminded me of how much our Heavenly Father truly loves us and loves this little boy He chose for us.

Good bye to the U.S. (for now).  Rwanda, here we come!!!

God's Timing

You would think that considering the fact that we will be leaving in 3 days to leave the country for a month that I would be completely stressed out.  Thankfully I am not and God has given me an amazing peace about everything.  About packing, our traveling to unknown places, our children who will be staying home, our new sons adjustments, all our adoption paperwork, etc.  God is so amazing and He has really shown me how perfect His timing has been for this.  He has revealed so many little details to me in this last week of why now and not a year ago like we thought.  So blessed to be on this journey!!!

Weekend Randomness

This weekend while running around trying to get stuff done, we saw the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile.  It doesn't take much to impress me, so I was super excited to see it!  =)

The kids also made (with the help of our amazing babysitter) these cute pictures of Kyler.

 

1 Week

Exactly one week from today we will be on a plane headed for Rwanda.  I am beyond excited right now I could cry and shout for joy all at the same time. =)  God is so amazing and we are so blessed to be taking this trip to bring our son home.  We are also blessed to be sharing this journey with some amazing families.  God is SO good!!!

Stayed tuned, as long as we have a good internet connection I plan to update my blog regularly while we are in Rwanda & Kenya.

How you can be praying:
Please pray for our safety as we travel

Pray for our older children who will be staying here in the States

Pray for my parents who will be caring for our other children

Pray that everything goes smoothly with our paperwork in Rwanda & Kenya

Pray for Kyler, his world is about to be seriously rocked, pray that he adjusts to all this newness

Pray for wisdom for us as his parents and how we can best meet his needs

Importance of Bonding

As we prepare to bring Kyler home from Rwanda, we felt it necessary to write a letter to our family and friends, letting them know what to expect when we arrive home.  Please take the time to read the following letter.

Dear Family & Friends,

After almost two years on this journey, our sweet baby boy is almost home!  We are overjoyed at God's grace, but we also realize this will be a season of adjustment for our family.  Each of you receiving this letter has supported, loved, and prayed for us throughout this journey.  You each play a very important role in our lives and we are truly blessed because of you.  Because we know you care for our family and new baby, we want to share with you some information that we hope will best equip everyone to assist us in laying the strongest and healthiest foundation – emotionally, physically and spiritually for our child.

In many ways, Kyler will be like the children who entered our family through birth; we will seek to bring all of them up in the instruction and discipline of the Lord. But there will be a few initial differences in the way we have parented in the past.

We know that God’s design for our family is PERFECT!  His plan for parents and children is a beautiful and meaningful picture of His love for us. Attachment between a parent and child occurs over time when a baby has a physical or emotional need and communicates that need. The primary caretaker then meets the need and soothes the child. This repeats between a parent and child over and over to create trust within the child for that parent.  The security provided by parents will, ultimately, give children a trust for and empathy towards others.

Once we arrive home, you may notice us tighten our circle a bit, stay close to home, and we may seem a little less available socially for a while.  Children who come home through adoption have experienced interruptions in this typical attachment process. The loss of a biological mother and father at an early age can be a major trauma on their little hearts.  Kyler will soon experience the loss of familiar and comforting caretakers as well as the sights, smells, and language of his birth country.  When he comes home, he will be overwhelmed by all the newness of our world.  To keep him from being too over stimulated, we plan to limit activities for the 1^st month or so.

In addition to adjusting to a new environment he will also be learning about what it truly means to receive love, and what a family looks like.  To help our son truly understand God’s design for a family, we will also be limiting visitors for the 1^st month after we arrive home.  Kyler has had multiple caregivers while in the orphanage and having only one mommy and daddy will be a foreign concept. 

Our son’s world will also be turned upside down. He will struggle with feeling safe and secure and may lack the ability to trust that we will meet his needs. The good news is that we can now, as his parents and forever family, rebuild attachment and help him heal these emotional wounds.  The most effective way for us to form a parent/child bond is by only having us (the parents) hold, snuggle, feed, soothe, care for, and instruct him.  As this repeats between us, he will be able to learn that parents are safe to trust and to love deeply.  We are, essentially, recreating the newborn/parent connection.  As time goes on this will change based on his needs, but we want to ensure that he is forming a strong attachment to us, his parents first.

Kyler will also have, what may seem like, a lot of structure, boundaries and close proximity to us. Although it may appear that we are spoiling him at times, we have been advised that it is best that we meet every need quickly and consistently so we can help build trust. 

Please know that each of these decisions we have shared with you have been prayerfully and thoughtfully made choices based on many recommendations from multiple case workers & adoptive professionals, personal research, and instruction from trusted adoption mentors.  We will be doing what we believe is best to help our child heal from those interruptions in attachment as effectively as possible.  Why are we telling you all of this?  Because you will actually play an awesome and vital role in helping our baby settle in, heal, and lay a foundation for his future.

Sharing these plans with you is difficult for us because you have openly loved on our other children and we have loved on yours as well, and treasure that connection. Please understand that we want nothing more than to have Kyler hugged, cuddled and cherished by ALL of you. But until he has a firm understanding of family and primary attachments, we need to stick to these guidelines and would be so grateful is you would help us to do so. Here are a few areas in which you can help us as we go through this transition:

·         You each play an important role in our lives, and we do want you to meet the newest members of our family.  But please call before coming over, and don’t be disappointed if we are not allowing visitors or limiting the time of your visit.  This is only in the best interest of our child and teaching him to love and trust us first.

·          It will help us immensely if you limit what is typically considered normal, physical contact with Kyler as well. This will (for a while) include things like holding, feeding, changing, instructing, excessive hugging and kissing, etc.  Children from orphanage settings are prone to attach too easily to anyone and everyone – which hinders the important, primary relationship with parents.  

·         Another area that would help us out greatly is by redirecting Kyler back to us (his parents) to have his physical and emotional needs met.  Orphans often have so many caretakers that they, as a survival mechanism, become overly charming toward all adults. A child struggling to learn to attach may exhibit indiscriminate affection with people outside of their family unit. It may appear harmless and as if they are “very friendly” but this is actually quite dangerous for the child.

·         Even though it may seem like we will have a lot of limitations when we first arrive home, we’d still appreciate your help and support in every way possible because this will be a tough transition for all of us.  So please don’t hesitate to call and see how you can help.  And of course, pray for each of us as we enter this next chapter in our lives.

We know this is a lot of information to take in, so please feel free to ask us any questions at any time. We are learning too, and are grateful that you are seeking with us to help Kyler feel loved, safe, and secure. We are incredibly blessed to have so many loved ones around us. We couldn’t ask for a better extended family & circle of friends for our precious baby. Thank you so much for your love and support over the past 2 years. 

We love you all,
Luke & Becca
Kristin, Kade, & Kyler